I bet when you first met him, you thought you were experiencing the most romantic love story of your life. It grazed you and you liked it immediately. He kissed you and your world rocked in an eyelash flicker. You were in his grip. You were his.
But this story did not last long and certainly did not end well. It took him a long time before he dropped the mask he had put on to impress you, or should we say for this hunt in which he trapped you.
You were so dependent on him. You knew it was not good for you, but you couldn’t help it. You needed a dose of it and kept coming back to it.
He was so magnetic and convincing. His lies were so good that they seemed like fantasies. Her story about her crazy freak seemed so real that you believed every part of it until you realized she was, like you, just a victim.
They slowly consumed you and convinced you. He slowly set up the decor that suited him. Things had to be as he wanted them before attacking. He simulated an interest in you and claimed, despite his self-centeredness that he had made you the center of his world. He wanted you to feel like you were everything to him so that you would give him your trust.
Once your confidence was gained, the rest was easy. You were in his grip. You were helpless.
He isolated you from your friends and family after convincing you that he was the only thing you needed and wanted in your life. Once he managed to make you feel alone in the world, he attacked.
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He had taken off his mask and your worst nightmare had become real. A small part of your hell had become your reality and you could no longer escape it. It was impossible to just wake up. It was real – it was happening.
These things became your daily life. You couldn’t escape it. There you argue that you were the crazy one. It distorted your memory, your identity and erased your self-esteem. You were an empty envelope that he watered with his altered version of the truth. And you believed it.
But everything comes to an end, even this nightmare. Such a quantity of lies in such a short time leaves traces – a veritable deluge. You were alone and broken but finally free. Now you are a girl who can love but love differently …
1. You have no idea what true love is.
Perhaps you have glimpsed what it must have been in the beginning. At first, he did good things but it was all a lie. It was not because of his love for you but because he wanted to lure you in, trap and destroy you. With him, you have never experienced true love.
Now that you’ve met the right one, you don’t know how to act with him. You doubt him and this unknown form of love that you receive. You think everything is comedy, a big lie that will cost you dear when the time comes. His love troubles you and it takes time before you relax, open up and accept what you actually deserve from the start.
2. You have trust issues
You had no say in your previous relationship. You were just a sketch and he was holding the brush so that he filled you with the colors he chose. You hated these colors but were unable to erase them before having regained control, resumed the brush and repainted yourself. You are afraid of being forced to relive the same thing. There was no confidence. Your previous relationship was built on lies.
It will take you a while to give your trust to another but your new companion knows it. It is for this reason that it gives you all the space you need. It is for this reason that he is not hurt by these things that you do for fear. He knows that you need time to heal and he will be there for you. He will wait for you because he loves you.
3. Love differently
You subconsciously destroy any chance of happiness. You are trying to sabotage the only real relationship you have ever had. You are trying to repel the only man who has never loved you. The fact that he seems perfect scares you because this narcissistic bastard was also perfect, too perfect, and you ended your journey at the bottom of the hole.
You are trying to spoil your current relationship because you are unable to accept that something good can happen to you. You have been poisoned for too long and you are unable to accept that a healthy and pure life awaits you.
4. You apologize for everything
You used to carry the brunt of your relationship. You used to always be the one at fault. You really thought it was all your fault. You were at an impasse and did not know how to react and thus ended up apologizing all the time. You knew it was the only thing he would accept.
A man who truly loves you will not let you spend your time apologizing. A man trying to show you sincere love will not hesitate to confess his faults. He’s ready to say, “I’m sorry.”
5. You are distant
It will take you time to forget and rebuild confidence. You will keep your distance because you are still suffering and you are not sure that this man is the right one. You have been beaten and it still hurts you. You don’t want to be in pain anymore. Your heart tells you that everything is fine and that you can let it approach, but your mind keeps trying to run away.
Don’t worry, this phase will not last forever. He won’t let it last. He will fight with all his might to prove himself and gain your trust. He will gently envelop you in his love and you will no longer be able to escape it. He won’t let you escape.
6. You are waiting for the flood
There won’t be any. You do not feel safe because things are progressing step by step. He is the most wonderful man you have ever met and he never ceases to cover you with the love and attention you deserve. He won’t stop. You wait for things to come back to you. You wait for a tsunami of evil, lies and manipulation to pour out but there is no tsunami. All you see is clear skies and calm seas.
You are on your guard because you are careful and scared. You have built a wall around you that he will demolish with the force of his love to find you, cherish you and bring you back to life.
7. You need to feel safe
You need to be promised that everything will be fine. You need him to make you believe that but it is difficult because you have a hard time believing anything and you know it is not easy for him either. You need a safe place where you are loved and where you can finally love in return.
You need him because you have all this love to give. You need him to get rid of your fear and to start a new chapter in your life and then in your life together.
He knows that you love differently, and for that reason he loves you even more. You may have been broken when he met you, but will not be broken for very long.