“One of the lost ten found”, “They don’t deserve you”, “And for s * x, you hold on? Who has never heard one of these common places? At a time when magazines are full of advice on finding love, 4.4 million French women are still single and would do without stereotypical remarks from their loved ones. Little anthology of things not to say to a single person.
1. At the restaurant: “Are you expecting people?” “
… asks you a doubtful but clumsy waiter, before settling down at a table at the back of the restaurant, the others being reserved for group meals. By reading the menu, you realize that you will have to make a cross on the seafood platter for two people and on the ice cream bowl to share. Celibacy is also the key to the diet.
2. “Register on adopteunmec.com”
“You will see a friend’s brother met his girlfriend there. They have lived together for 5 years ”. Curious and full of hope, you registered on the dating site . After a short presentation, which in the end turns out to be absolutely superfluous, you make a list of your physical and stylistic characteristics. We quickly fell in love: 8 in the space of two minutes and messages like: “Hello, I find you very charming, would you like to see yourself one of these four?” »Understand:« home or home? ” You know the proverb: better to be alone than badly accompanied .
3. “Come to dinner, you will love my boyfriend’s friends”
“Hubert has really adorable friends, I assure you!” You see the scene from here: making conversation with a geek as embarrassed as antipathetic, trying to remember the names of the characters of Battlestar Galactica while last night you were watching season 4 of S * x and The City. All under the benevolent gaze of your friend and her boyfriend who fortunately have everything planned for what should have been at the beginning only a small meal with friends: package candles, red wine and trip to a lounge club. In short, single but not mother Teresa.
4. “You are too demanding”
To hear them, you are “too everything”: “too difficult”, “too neglected” … But celibacy is not a reason to say amen to everything. It is not because you are alone that you must lower your criteria and that everyone must think that you are waiting in vain for Prince Charming , or James Franco coming to take you off on his big white horse. Single but not blue flower, you will be satisfied with a polytechnic graduate or an airline pilot. You demanding? No, just ambitious. So no need to make yourself feel guilty.
5. “It’s an opportunity to profit”
Implied: “One day when you are married you will regret not being single anymore. »You may be fed up with Saturday evening hosed out and short-lived stories at a time when the life of a couple is lived on a CDD rather than a CDI. Girls’ nights at your home on Friday evening, the solo TV sets in front Dancing with the Stars has filled your daily life and you would not sacrifice them for anything in the world. Especially not for a Ligue 1 match on Saturday evening … In a way you have other priorities, and above all no need to turn on the dancefloor every Saturday evening to overcome boredom and loneliness. Celibacy is also a luxury.
6. “You are pretty, however, there is no reason”
You are reassured. If you had been ugly, there would have been a reason. First observation: not having a boyfriend does not mean not wanting to please. Before you please others, try to please yourself. Second observation: thank you for the compliment but your brain also fulfills its role very well. Yes, there are still spiritual men who are not looking for a “pretty girl”. We therefore prefer the variant: “everything has everything to please.”
7. “And if not, with your ex …?” “
No thanks, you are not desperate to the point of getting back together with your ex, this open question particularly annoys you. If your friend suggests a possible relationship with your ex it is that: either she wants to lock you up at all costs, or she is really dismayed for you. Your loved ones to show more insight and lucidity.
8. “If I were a guy, I would have jumped on you a long time ago”
And me if I were a man I would be a captain. In the boat remarks genre, we also note the variants: “If I weren’t gay, I would have grappled with you already” and “If you weren’t my friend, I would have already tried something” . No need to express a repressed desire to reassure your friend. To want to reassure her too much, we often discourage her even more. Take advantage of constructive advice that does not imply that celibacy is the greatest evil of the century and that if your friend is alone, she must question herself.