When you are single, you often hear people say ” But, it’s time you find yourself someone …” as if falling in love was a choice. As if one day, you were going to get up and make the decision to find the right shoe. However, falling in love is more of a series of irrational and uncontrollable events.
You can’t just make the choice to put yourself in a relationship and expect to find the perfect person for it in a snap of your fingers. To fall in love, you have to be ready. To love and be loved, you must first accept yourself as you are and live a fulfilled life that makes you happy. You cannot fall in love if you are not good about yourself or if you are not in an auspicious state of mind.
Love is a personal investment. It is giving the other the attention it deserves. It’s working to maintain your relationship. And, you can’t do this if you haven’t done a personal retrospective first and haven’t prepared yourself for the idea of a serious healthy relationship. Besides, even if you have already gone through all the steps necessary to welcome love into your life, that does not mean that you will be able to simply fall in love overnight.
Love presents itself in everyone’s life in a different form and, generally, when you least expect it. For some, it is a slow process, such as two friends who have known each other for a long time and who gradually develop deeper feelings for each other. For others, love comes like love at first sight. One day he or she meets a person and from the moment they exchange looks, an inexplicable and uncontrollable sensation invades them.
No matter if these people were ready to fall in love, it fell on them. You can’t really choose how to meet your other half or the ideal time to get into a romantic relationship. You just have to be aware and receptive to the very idea of love and welcome it with open arms when it presents itself.
The Hazard of Love and the Choice to Stay in Love
Besides, falling in love is the easiest part of a relationship. The excitement of a new love has no equal. You learn more about each other every day. You know what your partner likes and doesn’t like. You make the decision to expose your heart and your soul. it’s a unique and very interesting experience that never happens twice in the same way. It’s irrational and out of your control.
On the other hand, staying in love is a choice. It is a conscious decision that requires work, effort and compromise. After all, it’s easy to fall in love with a man’s qualities. He is, for example, handsome, funny, attentive and intelligent. It is therefore not complicated to appreciate and accept these sides. But it is when the faults and difficulties of daily life surface that things get complicated.
The excitement associated with starting a romantic relationship disappears and reality jumps out at you. No, it is not perfect! Yes, he has faults. It can be rude, awkward or insensitive, for example. You seem to be talking about the same thing over and over again, because you don’t know what to invent to have an interesting conversation. And, the excitement of the departure that prevented you from seeing its negative sides has disappeared.
So, you become two people who put a lot of effort into staying connected and staying in love. It’s the little details that jeopardize your relationship. He forgets, for example, important dates like your dating anniversary or he is no longer as attentive as at the beginning, when he was trying to gain your favors. big problems can also surface: in a moment of anger, he can shout or say nasty things that he cannot erase afterwards.
In the end, nobody is perfect and everyone has their own faults and their own negative sides. But, people who stay in love don’t do it because they have no choice: every day is a choice. Over time, you come to realize that the person you fell in love with isn’t as ideal as you thought. This man is not perfect, but the real definition of love is to love his imperfections as well as his qualities.
You could say that making the decision to stay in love is like saying “ I see you clearly, I know who you really are but I accept you as you are. The more you advance in your relationship, the more you are able to understand what is hidden beneath the surface. You know things about your man that no one else knows. You know what he is ashamed of and you are aware that he has aspects of his personality that he would rather hide.
But, you make a choice: that of continuing to love him despite all this. You do this because you are mature and intelligent enough to admit that you yourself are not perfect. You have your faults, your mood swings and your less glorious moments. But, you choose to love him and deeply hope that he will do the same despite your negative sides.
You know that life is not all rosy. There will be periods of doubt, anger and even mourning. There will be times when you will feel like everything is going wrong. And, it is in these moments that you will know that you can rest on your loved one. This man who evokes a feeling of calm and serenity in you. This person who accepts you as you are.
Admittedly, falling in love with each other was simple. After all, you’re pretty awesome. But, together, you have made the decision to stay in love and go hand in hand, the best and the worst. Sometimes things are complicated and certain situations seem insolvent.
However, you know that if you continue to be united and supportive, no matter what, you will be able to find a solution to all your problems. You will be able to face the worst storms and fight side by side. Your love is worth it. So, you make efforts, compromises and sacrifices because, for you, the choice to stay in love is obvious.
It is not something that others (or society) impose on you. It is a rational and conscious decision. Fate may have taken matters into your own hands when it made you meet, but it is you two who hold the reins of your love and your happiness. Staying in love, or not, is a choice that only you can make!