Great love does not mean that everything is always rosy. According to Dr. Barbara de Angelis, we don’t get brave by being happy every day. We become so by surviving difficult times and defying adversity. The same goes for romantic relationships. We consider the ideal couple as two people riding towards the setting sun. But in general, it is rather the opposite, even with regard to the so-called “perfect couples”.
According to psychologist Jed Diamond, there are almost five main phases in almost every relationship. Some of these steps are enjoyable, but others are not. If you and your partner manage to take these steps in a healthy way and successfully cope with the tension, an even stronger and lasting love will follow.
Phase 1: falling in love
Oh, the euphoria of falling in love, a feeling that many of us have already experienced. Thinking about the other person, happiness, desire and a mixture of powerful hormones control your body and mind at such times.
However, this phase has its drawbacks; your heart dominates your skeptical mind, and the hope that someone is the embodiment of your happiness may override your sense of caution.
Phase 2: being a couple
This stage can occur over a period of a few weeks, months or even years, depending on the relationship. Your lives are getting intertwined, you may move in together, get married, and even have children during this time .
The feeling of “head in the clouds” turned into joy, unity, desirability, and protection. The simple feeling of falling in love has become something tangible and real. The more you get to know this person, the more comfort that he or she feels “good” settles in your thoughts.
Phase 3: disillusionment
So, you hoisted the sails, set sail, and everything has gone very well so far. Well, get ready, because the waters will start to stir. During this phase, you know your partner like your pocket, so well, in fact, that it becomes predictable. And you fear that it may annoy you .
You feel like the overwhelming emotions you used to feel will dissipate. Many couples pause during this stage, or conclude that their love will not last and separate. Any effort to rekindle a breathless relationship will seem futile.
Phase 4: create a lasting bond
Think of your relationship as if you are running a marathon, and you get a cramp on your side. At first, it is very small, then eventually turns into pain that cannot be ignored. But you know that if you slow down, you won’t get a second wind.
You know the easiest option is to give up, but you also know how happy you will be if you bite the bullet right now. So you keep running, accepting that painful feeling until the cramp goes away. And when she leaves, it’s just ecstasy!
Phase 3 of disenchantment can last a long time, but if you continue your relationship, it’s a real chance to test your love. Accepting and loving your partner’s faults will free your mind from all the uncertainty you have had. It is a time of understanding and consolidation for both of you.
Phase 5: Joining forces to change the world
The last phase gives rise to a crucial revelation about your relationship. From now on, you fully accept each other and you have faced your faults ; you realize that the link you sealed can create and bring something great to the world. Now there’s a bigger cause at stake, and you can use your relationship to take over the world.
Love is certainly a confusing thing, but when it lasts, it can change the course of a life. Knowing how to build and maintain a healthy and strong relationship is essential for getting to know yourself and the world around you. We wish you every success in every phase of your relationship in the future.