Stop looking, love will find you (not the other way around)


I don’t think everything happens for a reason.

Most of the things that happen to us in this life are unpredictable. Our existence is random and unpredictable. Problems arise, things flow together to collapse, and yet we always find a way to keep moving.

We find a force hidden in our bones that quiver to move forward even if we don’t know what will happen next, and what might go wrong next. We only have our past as a blueprint. It’s the only thing we know for sure. The future is a blank slate. Anything can happen, good or bad.

And it’s both comforting and scary.

One of the best things we hope to happen to us is love. As humans, we are made for love. We can certainly say that this is only a neurochemical reaction, but if this is how we are created biologically, it’s really very beautiful, right? And since it is literally part of our nature to love and be loved, most of us will spend our lives seeking love. Some of us will find our person very early, but many will not find them.

And for those of us who have not found love, we compare ourselves to our friends, family and people we have never met and who have found love and we become cynical and bitter. Jaded. Sad.

We are beginning to wonder why it did not happen to us and we are also beginning to fear that it will never happen. In return, we convince ourselves that we are broken, unwanted and unlovable. We make lists in our mind to explain why we are single and we come back to these reasons when it is late and we feel lonely and everything is difficult.

It’s a f ucking vicious circle.

But you know what ? In life, you don’t see most things coming. We are constantly caught off guard, surprised and confused.

And if we don’t see most of the things in life coming, why should we expect it to be different for love?

Trust me when I say that love will find you when you least expect it.

Some call it serendipity, finding something good when you don’t expect it. Some people call it fate, that what is destined to happen will happen. Some claim that it is destiny, the functioning of the universe, of God, etc. Whatever the forces behind what’s called love, you have to trust it is there for you if you want it.

You can’t schedule it. There is no formula. It is not a science. There is no reason it didn’t work before. We still think we should be somewhere else with someone else, but the truth is that you are exactly where you need to be, here and now.

Drop it all. Let it all fall apart. And most importantly, let it go.

Stop forcing yourself to have relationships when you know deep down that they’re not good for you. Stop chasing people who don’t want to get caught. Stop browsing the dating apps because you feel like you need to find someone NOW or you never will.

Instead, worry about yourself. Live your life. Love will follow. As it always does.

Please give it time and stop looking because it is love that is finding you, not the other way around.

Stop looking, love will find you (not the other way around)