I have long tried to recognize a man in love, for real, not a man who experiences a moment of momentary passion. It’s very hard to differentiate the two, for us women, because even the guys don’t really know it.
What to trust to know if you live a true and deep love, or if it is a passion that will last only 3 years (and again, I find Beigbeder optimistic)?
What clues do men leave us? How to recognize a man in love?
Recognize a man in love: promises, proof of love?
He tells you. He repeats it to you. He loves you. Like crazy. Like a crazy. Like a soldier and like a movie star. He cannot do without you. Yes, he wants to get started with you, he wants to get involved. He believes in you and your history. He…
In short, you understood me. He says a lot. Very nice things. And, he is sincere in general. But sincere does not mean that what he tells you is TRUE. In the Middle Ages, scientists were sincere when they claimed that the planet was a pancake.
Promises have value only if they are kept. As long as they are not honored, they are only WORD and WORD.
It is therefore not necessarily by his speech that one can recognize a man in love.
The more a guy promises, the more you can allow yourself to be suspicious. He is not telling you what he is going to do, but what he would like to do for you. If he says too much, he may not be able to keep his word. It’s not betrayal, it’s just idealism. But you will be disappointed. So be careful …
Recognize a man in love: desire, proof of love?
From evening to morning, four times a day: he wants you. He makes love to you all the time. He finds you so beautiful. He can only look at you with sparkling eyes. A simple kiss from you gives her an incredible erection. Sure, this man is crazy about you. But can we recognize a man in love?
Answering NO would be stupid. For many men, desire and love have blurred boundaries. If they can sleep with a woman they don’t want, they won’t jump on her every time they see her.
A woman who, for them, is of an unceasingly renewed beauty, is a sign of many feelings. Maybe from an OI, by the way. Of a love obsession. You are a bit of his ideal. The one he dreamed of.
But, once again, time defeats desire and tears apart passions. Alone, desire is not a sufficiently reliable proof of love (it may just be in love with your body and sensuality, even if it’s nifty, in the long term, there is better). It is a clue, but no proof. It is not enough to recognize a man in love.
Recognize a man in love: jealousy, a proof of love?
He doesn’t tolerate you talking to a guy. When he introduces you to his friends, he over-articulates the “MA” of “MY girlfriend”. He asked you to rip the photos of your Ex. And comes to all your parties where you have to see your buddies. In short, he wants you for him and for him ALL ALONE. But is it enough to recognize a man in love?
I can? Say, can I afford? Because here, I’m not going to go with a dead hand.
A little jealousy shows: he cares about you, he cares about HAVING you for him. Is.
A lot of jealousy shows that he does not trust him or you. Let him think that you will deceive him as soon as his back is turned. (Unless you have already done so, it can be understood for a while. But this is not HEALTHY behavior for a couple).
Passionately jealous: He wants to possess you. You are not really a human being for him. But something that belongs to him. To him, only to him. Do you see Gollum with the ring? Well, the same: he is a disciple of Sauron, jealousy has taken precedence over reason. Throw it into the flames of Mordor and return to the Shire.
From jealousy to madness: Pull yourself out the window, NOW! Finally, if the door is closed, huh … otherwise, finally … in short, there is no point in jumping from the 4th floor when the door is open. But this is just an opinion.
Not at all jealousy: Same, that means nothing. For some, it will mean trust in you and in him. For others, a complete separation between desire and feeling. And finally, among the latter, indifference.
Basically: jealousy, no matter how small, is not proof of love. (Even ours, huh ^^) So we need more clues to recognize a man in love.
Recognizing a man in love: suffering, proof of love?
He suffers from not seeing you. He misses you terribly. During your last argument, he was collapsed. He apologized several times. He can’t stand you getting mad. And, if you leave it, it will kill itself (or take time to play Call of Duty).
In short, his happiness comes from the state of your relationship. It’s love? In any case, it looks like it. A man not in love, indeed, would manage disputes and conflicts much better. And it’s normal, when you love, to want to stay with the other.
Unless he’s just addicted. If he has no passion, no friends, nothing outside of your relationship: it does not prove love, but dependence. He invested everything on you, his joys and sorrows. He bet big.
Again, this is sincere and he feels STRONG things for you. But, if a breakup would make you happier, could he accept it for you? Recognizing a man in love also means understanding his way of existing and thinking.
NOTE: Like desire or a little jealousy, it does not prove either that he does not love you, huh … (We can be in love AND dependent and wanting AND a little jealous …)
Recognize a man in love: “letting go”, proof of love?
With you, he feels good. Relaxed. He confides in you like he never did. He smiles a lot. You repeat that he is happy. Besides, in your story, everything is rolling, you have a few conflicts. At the same time, you know you are doing a lot for him. But it suits you. In short, with you, he feels confident. What to recognize a man in love?
NO! I would not say that there is no love. Your couple is driving. You are happy. On a little cloud. Yes, surely there is a lot of love.
BUT (you know my legendary distrust), but … maybe he is a lover of good times. As long as everything goes, he is by your side, loves you like crazy. And in hard times, will it still be there?
Let HIM feel good, is that enough to talk about love?
I remain divided. I think he REALLY likes your relationship because it flows naturally because it is peaceful. I think you are living very precious moments and do not ask yourself more questions than that. So do NOT listen to my doubts AT ALL, nor continue reading.
Let’s say you have proof that you can be happy together. And when the weather turns stormy, you’ll have plenty of time to see how your guy reacts.
Recognizing a man in love: concern, proof of love?
He wants you to feel good. Full of attention, often discreet in what he does, what matters to him is that YOU are happy. It protects you while leaving you the space to be yourself. He questions himself to find the right balance. When you go wrong, it goes wrong. When you are well, he is well. If he cannot make you happy, he would be ready to leave you. In short, his empathy is connected to you…. Is this the way to recognize a man in love?
There you are with someone who loves you completely, who will stay there during the hard times, who will support you. You are with someone who believes in you. And who loves you even beyond your relationship. He is someone who has the strength of tenderness, as Rimbaud would say, and who does not give half measures or to wait for a return. He gives because he loves what you are.
It’s rare. Let’s not hide behind our little finger. And often when you have it, you don’t realize it. You can easily trash a story, by tugging on the love rope of this guy.
He may not make big promises, but he will keep them all. No big statements, but small gestures (like installing an ant*-v**rus on your computer). In short, if it is not “the good”, it really looks like it.
Even we can question ourselves. Are we able to love like this? Without return request? For the other? Would that make us happy?
To love like that is to love without regrets. But, it is also to break the mouth. It means living your feelings fully, and therefore exposing them, exposed to abuse, selfishness, etc. It is to heal past anger to love again and again like the first time.
Where my prudence speaks is to wait to know this guy for a few months, at least, before giving myself fully. Time to be sure that he will not abuse it to feed an ego injured by previous stories.