Life does not give us presents. Many are those who have been damaged by life and love. That said, when we think about it, we are all a little damaged and we all need to be re-tamed.
The years go by and life acts on us, whether we like it or not. The relationships follow one another and eventually end. We wake up one morning, alone and scared to stay.
We were flouted. We were hurt. We have been injured and it is increasingly difficult to recover and recover.
In short, we were mistreated by life. And I know that everything I say here is far from pleasant. But far from me the idea of depressing you, on the contrary. I am here to tell you that life is full of surprises and that despite all the suffering already suffered, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
But if I write, it is above all to address the man who will share your life in the future. May he know that despite your fragility and the difficulties you have experienced, you are not broken.
Your heart has been trampled, but you have managed to pick up the pieces or you will do it very soon. You will be ready to love, again. You have lived hell but you are alive and love will soon resurface in your daily life.
So, to the one who will soon come to brighten your existence: let her be patient and able to move forward at a low pace. If you succeed, you will quickly learn to love her again.
All you need to do is listen
Show understanding and tolerance. Compassion and thoughtfulness
If you want her to feel good with you, you will have to find the strength to enter her life and apprehend her suffering. You will have to grasp and understand them.
Because when we have suffered a lot, we usually have trouble expressing it. We tend to fall back on ourselves and close. To build barriers and not allow anyone to pierce them.
But if you know how to be patient, you can help Her break down her barriers and trust you. You can help her relearn the life of two and especially the sharing it implies.
She needs to live and overcome her suffering, first alone and then at your side. You will not be able to help her suppress what she feels, but you can definitely help her live with it.
Listen to her, but never judge her
The more time passes, the more it will open. She will find the courage and the immense strength to confide in you and to tell you what she has experienced. To share with you all the emotions she has known. All the suffering she endured, etc.
But above all, do not judge her. Be in understanding, without ever trying to explain or justify your suffering. Because nothing can justify all the harm that has been done to her. Neither illness, nor unconsciousness, nor her own childhood. Nothing.
Nothing justifies the harm that can be done to someone. Nothing justifies the violence. Nothing justifies insults. Nothing justifies the lies.
So, stay out of the situation. Listen to her, comfort her, help her to move forward but never take part. Above all, do not try to change it.
You must understand that you are not a band-aid
This is a very important point that I want to emphasize. Yes, she lived hell. Yes, she may have had to deal with a violent and humiliating spouse. But she does not expect you to heal her or help her to suppress her past.
Because whatever you do and whatever she does, this past will always be part of her. He helped make her what she is today. It is undeniable and above all, it is something that nobody can change.
No, your job is only to help her open up to the future and to love. You must remind her that her life does not stop there and that many beautiful things are still waiting for her.
She does not need a savior or a messiah. She needs a man who helps her re-master happiness.
Know how to show you worthy of her trust
Know where you are going. Do not make her life hell again. If you decide to get involved with her, be certain of your choice. Do not do anything until you are absolutely sure of yourself.
It has been abandoned many times. We let him down. She was mistreated. Do not start again. If she finds the strength to trust you, you have to understand what it means to her … The world …
This is a huge step and it deserves you to do the same towards her. So, keep your promises. Be present. Take care of her as we take care of the person we love. Pamper it. Treat the. Show him that she is important and unique.
In short, know how to be worthy of her. She deserves it and believe me, she will reward you a hundredfold.
Do not treat her as if she was sick
It is also a very important point. She suffered and she keeps many scars: moral, psychological and even perhaps even in her flesh.
But she is not sick and if she decides to welcome you in her life, it is that she feels ready. It’s because she made a choice. She is an adult and she has cared for her so far, despite all the horrors she has had to face.
But beware, that does not mean she’s sick. It is damaged, but that does not mean that it must be treated as a fragile little animal that would come to be born. On the contrary, what she needs now is with all your strength and all your courage to find hers.
Be gentle and considerate, but without treating it like a doll that could break at any moment. In short, treat her with love. As you would treat any other woman who counts to you.
She will recover. Trust him. It’s a question of time and especially all the affection you will give him.
Above all, prove to him that you are different
If you want to build a love story with her, you will have to be patient. We have already said … But you will, during this time, prove to him that you are different from others. You will have to prove to him every day and for a long time that you are worth it and that you will not abandon him.
Love it fully and wildly. Love her as she is ready to love you. Give yourself whole because once she knows how to count on you, it is her soul and her heart that she will offer you.