“Self-care” is taking time for yourself. In a couple, we practice “peer care”, or how to put your romantic relationship before the rest. This is the new secret of long-term relationships.
The self-care, you know. Or you have just discovered it. In any case, this practice should now be part of your daily life. By definition, self-care consists of taking care of oneself, by prioritizing one’s personal needs in the face of situations of stress, anxiety or quite simply in the face of social obligations.
Do you prefer to stay at home in front of a good series rather than going out for a drink with an old acquaintance? Do it, you have the right. Better, you must do it, for yourself and your physical and mental well-being. It is not selfish, just a necessity.
What is “pair care”?
Do you think the trend is towards individualism? Think again. If self-care is focused on refocusing on personal well-being, peer care is concerned with the well-being of the couple. According to the PureWow site, peer care consists, for you and your partner, of putting your relationship first and foremost, on a daily basis. For example, cancel yet another couple’s dinner to enjoy a romantic evening. Or ban cell phones from the bedroom, or any other screen to fully enjoy an intimate moment. The hand care amounts to be egocentric, but two. And that can become beneficial for your relationship.
The importance of refocusing
Researchers at the University of Virginia have looked into the beneficial role of generosity in relationships and in marriage. According to this study, the couples in which the two partners are generous to each other are the happiest. A column in the New York Times Magazine explains that a happy couple will have to bet everything on mutual aid and understanding rather than on selfishness, criticism, and individualism.
This generosity can take the form of small daily reflexes: the preparation of coffee in the morning, a sweet word scribbled on a post-it … The more frequent these little gestures, the more these attentions can strengthen the relationship. But beware, it must come from both partners! The best way to apply peer care in your romantic relationship is to do things in pairs: meditation, sport, plan a naughty party, skip a vacation with in-laws and s to fly to Sicily, cook a good meal, watch the same series. So, ready to become selfish … two?