With the discovery of the unfaithfulness of the loved one often opens a long period of deep suffering, doubt, questioning, even depression. Many choose to leave. Others, on the contrary, try to overcome the pain and put all their strength into the battle, with one goal: to save their couple. So how do you react when you are deceived? Can we truly forgive the other?
Because infidelity does not always spell the end of your love affair, find all our advice below to better endure “after”.
1. Understand the reasons for infidelity to better manage your suffering.
Understanding what prompted your partner to commit the (ir) repairable is one of the first steps towards acceptance. Communicating with your spouse is essential here, if only to identify the reasons for this behavior. Also, be sure to tell them about your pain and ask any questions that come to mind. The infidelity is also a test that can be overcome in two – that is if both parties are determined to fight together to carry out this sentimental relationship.
2. Accept that your couple is not foolproof.
In the face of infidelity, disappointment is all the stronger when the expectations you have placed in your spouse are high. Is it really necessary to idealize your couple so much? Take advantage of this ordeal to put your love story into perspective; your couple is not foolproof and keeping it afloat is a daily job. Being able to accept this will give you the tools to improve the quality of your romantic relationship.
3. Banish all guilt.
The first reflex when one has been deceived is to ask oneself if the problem comes from us – or even to be convinced of it. It is undeniable, infidelity can legitimately be felt as a powerful narcissistic wound: questioning, withdrawal, loss of self-esteem, isolation,… it is normal to doubt in these painful moments.
But, be convinced of one thing: infidelity is not necessarily a sign of an irreversible break in your relationship. Some of them are just the result of a more or less controlled slip, and indeed have absolutely nothing to do with you. So stop feeling guilty about what you may have done wrong.
4. Avoid tracking him.
Have you decided to give him a new chance? Certainly, your confidence in him/her has taken a huge hit; but entering into a victim-executioner relationship which would consist of making him/her feel guilty at all times is far from being recommended. Your spouse has made a serious mistake, indeed. Useless, however, to remind him at all times and to spy on him excessively.
5. What if infidelity was an opportunity to rekindle the flame in your relationship?
As incredible as it may seem, infidelity is also the perfect opportunity to put your romantic relationship in perspective and correct certain latent problems to consolidate it in the long term. Indeed, the couple is a fragile balance that needs tests to strengthen. Take advantage of this faux pas to resolve these key questions together: ” Where are we going together?” »« Do we still have couple plans? ” Do we still love each other despite this ordeal?” ” What if infidelity was the electroshock you needed for your married life?