In these times of social media, it seems easy to “connect” with others, exchange dreams and needs, profile photos and background information. Yet, in spite of such “easy” mechanisms to “meet” others, you would possibly still end up alone, lonely, meaning to have an intimate relationship with someone “special” – but, alas, don’t seem to be ready to actualize your desire.
So what stands in your way? Is it so that, after all, there aren’t enough “others” within the pool of singles to settle on from? Or could it’s something in you, which could hinder your ability to seek out the intimate relationship you such a lot longer for?
Well, it’s easy and “comfortable” to believe that it’s all a matter of not yet finding the “special one”. it’s convenient to think that “many out there” are just inappropriate for you.
But is it so? Could it even be that something in you, after all, hinders you from finding “the one and only”? And if this is often the case, is there anything you’ll do about it?
Indeed, there are tons that you simply can do about it. And this “a lot” are often summarized in one sentence: you would like to urge to know yourself better; to understand what it’s that stands in your way from finding and cultivating an honest intimacy; to understand what may need to cause you to sabotage your relationships so far.
You can call such a process “cognitive therapy” that you simply will take upon yourself to pursue all by yourself; otherwise, you can call this process “becoming aware”, which can bring back the surface thinking and behavioral patterns which could have stood in your way from having a successful relationship so far.
What it all boils right down to is: are you willing, truly willing, to seek out out how you encounter to others; what are your needs; how you would possibly substitute your way from cultivating a satisfying relationship; and, finally, how you’ll set about becoming self-aware of the various ways during which you would possibly have – unintentionally and unconsciously – sabotaged your relationships so far, and the way to form a change for the better?
Taking responsibility is the name of the sport. Taking responsibility for your failures, also as a responsibility to becoming self-aware and taking the required steps to vary whatever needs change.
Becoming responsible and self-aware doesn’t necessarily mean you would like to prevent “meeting” others on social media. the other might even be true: as you’re employed on becoming aware, each and each person you “meet” can mirror something back to you then “tell” you something about yourself. With each and each person you meet you’ll realize what projections you “throw” at them, and what causes you to project into them those aspects and parts of yourself: is it jealousy? Stubbornness? Stinginess? Shyness? Vulnerability? Insecurity?
The more self-aware you become the more you start to watch yourself “as if from the side” and thus realize how you behave and think, and consequently what you would like to vary in your thinking, attitudes, and behaviors so as to finally find and cultivate the successful intimate relationship you long for.