Communication problems are so common among couples that yours may be solid, but this will not prevent you and your Jules from being confronted with misunderstandings one day.
All these little everyday misunderstandings that can make your life hellish, you know what I’m talking about?
The good news is that with a little method and intelligence, communication in a couple can be restored!
1. Sign the armistice of the war of the s**xes
Men and women definitely don’t have the same approach to romantic relationships.
When you don’t have an open mind, it’s easy to convince yourself that members of the opposite sex are illogical, childish, even mean.
The fact is that neither men nor women make perfect sense.
Take the time to try to find out the opinion of your companion on your communication problems.
You may find that your two different visions are the source of many misunderstandings.
You will also realize that you could avoid these misunderstandings simply by recognizing that men and women have two different worldviews and two different approaches to romantic relationships.
2. Listen carefully!
Remember that you are, and it is logical, 50% responsible for your communication problem.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you might be tempted to think that you don’t even have to listen to your partner to know what he’s going to say.
It must be admitted, even we, we tend to ramble during disputes and always re-use the same arguments.
However, you will need to listen carefully to everything that Jules has to say to you. Thus, you will respond to his need for understanding and you will then be able to envisage more serene discussions.
Your companion has the same needs as you, he wants to be heard and understood. It is the basis of communication in a couple.
3. Don’t look for a culprit
If you and your Jules come to doubt the strength of your relationship, don’t try to blame yourself for it.
It is in the best interests of both of you to speak and work together to understand why you got there.
Instead of spinning around like two caged lions in your living room trying to find out which one of you is causing the problem, use your energy to find solutions instead.
4. Stick to the facts!
When you tackle your problems, don’t blame them that you can’t prove.
That is to say? Stick to raising issues that cannot be discussed, such as the feelings you feel or the reproaches that your partner has already approved of you.
A simple example: if you say “you disrespected me in front of my friends”, Jules can perfectly discuss your assertion.
Indeed, the rules of respect are vague and depend mainly on the personal appreciation of each.
He can very well argue that, from his point of view, he has nothing to blame himself for.
On the other hand, if you tell him “I was ashamed and I felt really bad when you told David that you didn’t think I deserved a raise”.
Your companion will not be able to discuss it, he will have no other choice than to admit that he has hurt you.
5. Be honest, but take it easy!
It is of no use to you to hide from your companion the problems that you encounter in your relationship.
The only result is that your resentment swells and swells until it is no longer possible to go back.
Rather than getting there, open your heart to your companion, but with kindness and respect.
Your partner is probably not trying to hurt or annoy you on purpose. You might even be surprised to find that he is upset to learn that you are not happy.
6. Be his friend, not his coach
There is a good chance that your partner did not choose you in the hope that you would correct his bad habits and faults.
You are not his mother, his teacher, his sports coach, or his boss. You are above all her friend and lover.
I do not doubt the constructiveness of your criticisms, but your companion may think that the love and respect you have for him has diminished because of his small faults.
Instead of criticizing, encourage them to improve by letting them know when you particularly liked one of their behaviors.
Now, it doesn’t sound too difficult, does it?
These techniques may seem simple, but it is nevertheless the solution that you need to solve the communication problems in your relationship. Try them!