You love him, but he doesn’t love you. Ouch. We know, it hurts. The best way to forget your crush is to move on. Here are 7 ways to forget about your crush that feels nothing to you.
Love is never simple. In a perfect world, everyone would love everyone and feelings would be systematically shared. In real life, it’s a little more complicated. For the past few months, you have been in love with a boy who, unfortunately, does not love you in return. We know, this situation is not pleasant and risks making you suffer a lot.
The problem is, you can’t control your feelings and you can’t (certainly) force him to appreciate you. In any case, not in this way. It happens more often than you think: it may be an ex that you can not forget or a friend with whom you have been very close lately.
For some people, this one-sided love seems to occur more often than it does for others. Relations counselor Tarra Bates-Duford explains to the Bustle site that, according to her, non-reciprocal love is often due to each other’s love habits. For example, if you live your romantic relationships with calm and serenity, you will be less likely to fall in love with someone who does not love you.
But the way of bonding is not the only criterion of unrequited love. “We are more likely to experience this evil when we idealize relationships,” she adds. If you have already experienced a fused romantic relationship, with strong feelings, you will try to reproduce this pattern to feel the same things. This is why an innocent crush can quickly turn into non-reciprocal love.
Even if it is difficult to admit, the best thing to do when you experience this for someone who does not give it back is to try to move on and move on. Here are 7 ways to forget about your crush that feels nothing to you.
1- Ask yourself the right questions
One of the best ways to overcome your grief is to understand why you are feeling something about that person. You have to ask yourself if it is only because you are alone or because you have real feelings.
“Some people can’t stay single for very long. They only feel secure by being in a relationship and that’s when they regain self-confidence. This can, unfortunately, mean that they will be in a relationship too quickly, with someone who does not match them or simply become attached to someone who does not like them, “says expert Tarra Bates-Duford.
2- Allow yourself to be sad
When you discover that your crush goes out with a new person or connects the dating, you suffer. It is useless to ignore this suffering and even less to camouflage it under false smiles. Sometimes it feels good to let go. This allows you to better accept it and to quickly turn the page.
“You have to give yourself permission to cry and be pissed,” advises therapist Alisha Powell. “Give yourself time to experience this suffering, only to get better afterward,” she adds.
3- Go out and meet new people
This is the advice you will hear each time you have just separated or are in love. And while it’s easier said than done, it’s actually a great way to move forward.
“Taking the time to go out and see other people will do you the greatest good, and it may also allow you to meet someone who shares your feelings,” said Councilor Bates. Even if it can take time, you should definitely avoid confining yourself to yourself.
4- Think about the future
You’re in love with this man, okay. But at the end of the day, you’ll just want to find someone who really loves you the way you are. You don’t have to make a living with someone who will come and go as you see fit. By getting mad at you.
You have to define which man you want to see in your life, by defining his qualities and his character: “Instead of thinking about your crush (the one who doesn’t want you), focus on your ideal man . three criteria aside, there must be somewhere, and above all, he will be in love with you, “advises psychotherapist Monica A. Ross.
5- Evaluate your errors
“You absolutely have to look back and recognize when you were able to fall in love in your relationship with your crush,” says therapist Christie Tcharkhoutian.
Is it because he behaved ambiguously? Is it because your friendship was too strong? Are you the one who got the wrong ideas? Asking yourself these kinds of questions can be painful, but it will help you avoid making the same mistakes next time or better detect the signals.
6- Stop idealizing them
When you fall in love with a person, you tend to see only their good sides and forget their faults (they necessarily have them). Seeing perfection in an individual will not allow you to move forward. The world is not perfect and nobody is! Stop idealizing your crush because, like you, it has flaws.
7- Be confident
“The best way to move on is to regain self-confidence. You should be proud of yourself because you are able to love someone without necessarily expecting reciprocity,” says therapist Christie Tcharkhoutian.
“It’s hard to think that way after being rejected, but change the way you see it. When you meet a new person, you will thank yourself for taking this experience as something beneficial, rather than shutting yourself out. to any romantic encounter, “she adds.
And to fall in love again, you must first resume-boosting your ego. It is by loving you first that others will fall into your arms. Promised.