Guess what? We have just what you need to help you be a better wife before the sun goes down this evening! You won’t have to read a book, you won’t have to listen to a podcast, and you won’t even have to read a really long article.
When my husband wrote a post about how to be a better spouse, it hit home. I loved the list because it was simple things I could do right now. It also hit home because I realized that I fall short of doing those things. But, it did inspire me to come up with my own to-do list of how to be a better wife. Here are 4 simple ways to do it.
1. Put him first.
Okay, we’re going to hit the ground running. This is a biggie, but you can do it. Put your husband ahead of your children. We didn’t say forget your children, but make your husband your priority. How? Stay focused on what he’s saying even if your children are trying to interrupt you. Do something sweet just for him. A good place to try this out is in the kitchen or the bedroom.
2. Be happy!
You don’t have to have a smile on your face 24/7, but be the kind of person you’d want to be around. Be joyful, especially if your husband is down. You could turn out to be the best thing that happened to him all day.
3. Trust him.
This goes beyond just tuning in to what he’s saying. I have a friend married to a doctor, so it’s safe to assume he knows something about anatomy and how the body works. Well, when their first child was a baby, she wouldn’t trust him or act on any of his advice for the physical care of their child. Since then, she’s learned that feeling trusted is important to most men. Needless to say, she takes his advice more regularly now.
4. Go to bed with him.
Not that kind of going to bed (see #1 for that one!), but actually going to sleep when he does. Time spent together before you both fall asleep has the potential for bonding and sharing. Try it tonight.
5. Learn his love language.
If you were sitting around with your friends right now, I bet each of them would joke that her husband’s love language is physical touch. For a lot of men, sex is a high priority in marriage. But you might be surprised to learn that while your husband wants sex, the way he receives and shows love might actually be different. When you start speaking his language, your love will be communicated more deeply and effectively.
6. Let your yes be yes.
Books have been written about men not understanding women and women not being clear with our words. Yes, we are allowed to change our minds, but we should not intentionally mislead with our words. That’s manipulation. Try not to expect your husband to be a mind reader. If you say, “Sure honey, take a quick nap while I make dinner,” don’t yell at him 20 minutes later when you’re feeling stress over a burning oven. He has to be able to trust what you say.
7. Don’t use sex as a bargaining tool.
It can be tempting to offer sex in return for his doing that home repair you’ve been begging him to get done. And it is definitely hard to say yes to sex when you are frustrated because you’ve asked him to do it for the 10th time. But your sexual relationship with your husband is not meant to be used as a bribe or a punishment. If you believe that sex is an expression of love, then when you bargain with sex, you are putting stipulations on your love.
Tell us! What do you do to be a better wife?