You have met the person who makes your heartbeat and who makes you want to get involved. Projects are starting to swirl in your head and you think it may be time to move in together. This article will bring you the answers and the lines of thinking to move forward with calm and serenity. So, how long does it take to move in together as a couple?
1. What are your couple priorities?
Before asking yourself: after how long do you have to move in together as a couple, you must ask yourself what your priorities are. Indeed, before living with your lover, it may be necessary to experience adventures and create lasting memories.
Living together risks you facing an important parameter: monotony! This plague takes the couple towards a “job-metro-dodo”.
Living together quickly becomes obvious when you love someone.
But you should enjoy life before locking yourself in a shared apartment.
- Did you travel together?
- Have you taken the time to really discover the other?
- Do you know his family and friends?
- Ask yourself if living together is really a priority for you?
- Are you really ready to live together?
- Is it not fear, the material side, or jealousy that pushes you to want to live with this other who escapes you?
You shouldn’t take the risk of ruining everything in a few weeks. If you decide to take a common dwelling it is because it sounds to you as “obvious” . You will no longer need to speak or convince the other, things will fall into place quite naturally.
2. Is the duration of the couple an important parameter?
No statistical study shows that it is preferable to have a relationship of 6 months or a year to live together. The only parameter to take into account is your mutual desire! There are couples who got married after three weeks and who stayed together. Others who took years before living under the same roof and who separated within a month.
My advice from a coach is to take “the time” to get to know you enough to answer the question: will I be able to bear the shortcomings and qualities of my lover? Having someone snoring by their side or sleeping only 4 hours a night – that can be a problem! Having to cook or clean when you don’t feel like it – that can be a problem! This is why time is saving: it allows you to get to know the other person.
3. How to tell your partner about your desire to move in as a couple?
If your wish to live with your partner is too present: it is time to talk to him. I advise you to proceed step by step:
- Organize a romantic evening at home or outside: a perfect tête-à-tête to talk to her in peace.
- Speak by saying “I”: I would like to tell you of my desire to…. I think we are close to…. I feel the need to…. It’s the best way to get your partner to listen to your word.
- Tell him why you chose him to be the person you want to share a long way with
- Allow him the opportunity to express himself by not judging his word and his desires.
4. What if my partner does not want to move in as a couple?
In the 21st century, there are no longer any “rules”: you can do as you wish and how you feel. Your partner may want to live in their apartment and see you when they want. Some couples choose to live separately to save their couple, maintain the flame, and avoid routine!
It is his choice and you must respect it! On the other hand, you can disagree and express your feelings to him. If the fact of not living under the same roof makes you sad, it is not worth it! If waiting a few months frustrates you, it’s not worth it. You should never give up on your dreams and desires! If you think that leaving is the best solution: Fine! What matters is to be in tune with yourself.
Being in a couple does not require disregarding one’s needs and desires. Always balance the tradeoffs with your own personal satisfaction. Never act if you have to leave your dreams and your desires there.