The honeymoon may be over but it is still possible to love each other, have fun and not be overcome by small arguments. We have consulted marriage counselors to find out what is causing the most trouble in your love nest, what you need to know before you commit to life and how to maintain your marriage.
1. Stay yourself
Psychologist John Mayer recommends that you keep your identity, your dreams and your passions because even if you become the partner of someone for life, you are still yourself. You advance in pairs, but never forget who you are and what you want.
2. Your s ex life is the basis of your marriage
Even if you do not feel the same sensations as at the beginning of your relationship, try to make your legs in the air an intimate moment, entertaining and full of happiness.
Dr Tina Tessina, author of “Money, s ex and kids: Stop fighting about the three things that can ruin your marriage”, advises to bet on surprise and new experiences to preserve the spark in your couple. The feeling of bewitchment when you fall in love will eventually disappear but you can recreate it by testing unusual things. Games of seduction, new positions and different places are your best allies for an exciting s ex life.
3. Say “Thank You”
Nowadays, people find it difficult to express their love and gratitude. They feel embarrassed or embarrassed while saying “I love you” is essential to the happiness of the couple. Dr. Tessina recommends that you put aside your reluctance and express your feelings to your other half. Show your appreciation verbally, with flowers or physical expressions (hugs, kisses). You may have trouble at first, but you will quickly get a taste for it.
4. A watchword: compromises
When you are married or at least when you live together, you will discover unexpected things about your partner: the color of the wall he wants, the arrangement of the chairs… The challenge according to Jane Greer, s exologist in New York, is to make cohabitate successfully your and his habits.
5. Know your priorities
The main reason for disputes is the difference in needs (s exual, financial, etc.). Doctor Greer says that you will avoid disputes by agreeing on what is important to you: saving to go on vacation or buy a house? Once again, compromises are essential.
6. Accept arguing
You will not argue less after marriage. You will always do it, more and for the same reasons. Are we therefore condemned to quarrel? Especially not.
Dr. Dana Royce Baerger, professor of clinical psychiatry at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, says it’s important to accept that some marital problems will never be resolved. But it’s just as important to know that with persistence, goodwill, and humor you will resolve your concerns without hostility or bitterness.
In other words, don’t get stressed when you argue (because it’s inevitable) but do it on equal terms and never forget that you are bickering with your lover.
7. See the bright side (of your partner)
According to Dr. Baerger, couples who form stable and happy marriages show a positive attitude towards each other. They analyze the environment and preferences of their partner and always make sure to satisfy them.
8. Be honest with yourself
Instead of just focusing on your partner’s faults, acknowledge your wrongs and work on it. For Dr. Baerger, your marriage is at great risk if neither of you is willing to change first. Chat together without taking it out on each other.
9. Be willing to improve your relationship
A healthy and happy couple relationship requires constant mutual efforts. According to Lori Cluff Schade, a couple and family therapist, marriage, more than any other project, requires time and an absolute determination to improve the quality of life.
Make sure you have some sort of ritual to show your love. For example, never leave without kissing your partner. It works for sure and if it can also save you spending money on therapy…