Finding the “Sweet Spot” in Your Marriage

A great marriage is built out of several different components: good communication, shared interests, a healthy sex life and several other types of compatibility. But no couple is doing great in every area all the time. Instead of spending all your time fretting over the things that need work, give yourself—and your husband—a break every now and then and celebrate what you get right!

So where is the “sweet spot” in your marriage?

1. Parenting. Recently, a friend was sharing with me how she struggle to feel emotionally close with her husband. But when the conversation turned to his relationship with her two girls, she quickly praised him. “Parenting is what we do best together. We have similar perspective on what the girls need, we are in step with one another on how to get there, and that part of life just comes very naturally for us.” For her, their parenting roles were the place where she and her husband were in total harmony—and that’s no small feat.

2. Friendship. Your husband may not be the type of person who wants to spend hours talking about his feelings, but he enjoys spending time with you.  You really are each other’s most trusted friend. Friendship may be the glue that keeps you feeling close. If you have that type of friendship with your husband, it can make up for a lot of other things your marriage may lack.

3. Finances. For some couples, this is one of the single greatest sources of stress. So if you find that you and your husband are able to work together well to manage your money and work toward your financial goals—pat yourself on the back. It’s a major feather in your relationship cap if you can stay on the same team where your money is concerned, and can save your family from the negative consequences of a lack of discipline in this area.

4. Faith. This one is a biggie. No matter what questions arise in the course of your marriage, they can be answered—or at least survived—if you share a strong common spiritual foundation. A shared relationship with God brings couples closer and enhances every other aspect of marriage. Even if you quibble about some of the details of life (like why dirty socks would ever be on the floor when there’s a perfectly operational hamper right there in the bathroom…) you can count on your faith to keep you grounded in the fundamentals, help you to forgive the failures, and deepen your love for one another. 

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