Gary Chapman is a Doctor of Philosophy from the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary . He is the author of many helping relationship books, so the best known is ” The 5 Languages of Love ” and I can only invite you to read it.
In NLP, all behavior is underpinned by a positive intention is a presupposition. Our behaviors are generated by positive intention. If your spouse or your partner is too demanding, in your opinion, it is to give them a sense of quality. In his mind, he does it for the good of the loved one.
What you feel when your wife expresses her love through touch is what she feels when you express your love while doing the laundry.
– Gary Chapman
It is easier and more constructive to respond to intention rather than expression of “problem” behavior. The question to ask is: what could be the positive intention behind the behavior of the other or mine?
Even if you think you have the best dialogue and take the best actions towards your partner, how can you not open yourself to the possibility that you can act in a different way to establish better communication?
Understand your partner’s needs!
Perhaps you express your love by gifts while your partner feels love more by another “language”. Understand that the way you give your love may not match the way your lover receives it. It will open your eyes.
By understanding the proofs of love that your partner is receptive to, you could be showing your feelings in the right way. Try different methods and see which ones your partner is most receptive to.
The “5 languages of love” or how to communicate affectionately with your partner, to express your love and to receive love are different for each of us.
- Words of affirmation: the compliments , as expressing positive feelings, saying “I love you.”
- Quality moments: devote your attention entirely to your partner in the present and fully aware.
- Gifts: physical symbols of love, such as flowers, jewelry, a romantic weekend or a restaurant outing, etc.
- Services rendered: walking the dog, cleaning the kitchen, participating in daily tasks, etc.
- Physical touch: intercourse, holding hands, cuddling, petting , kissing, etc.
Are you sure you already do what is best for your lover, really? What if you take a moment to think about it?
Have a good day