Common Marriage Advice You Shouldn’t Listen To

At our co-ed wedding shower, people had all kinds of marriage advice for us. Things like: marriage should be hard work; address any problems head on, and never go to bed angry. It took us a few sleepless nights to realize these pieces of well-meaning advice might not actually be the best rules for us to live by.

Sometimes bad marriage advice helps you realize what is the best marriage advice. Here are some of the most common pieces of marriage advice you shouldn’t listen to.

It should be hard work.

Marriage shouldn’t always be hard. Sometimes it does require work, and it definitely takes being intentional, but it shouldn’t always feel like a chore. Take time to enjoy one another. If you find that you’re both too serious about life and responsibilities, try doing something fun together. Play a game.

Never go to bed angry.

My husband and I stayed up many late nights trying to reach an agreement. Usually, it meant one of us was beyond tired, and the other one did most of the talking. This made our situation worse because the more tired we got, the more frustrated we grew. It was impossible to reach a solution this way. Most of the time, what we really needed was a break from discussing the issue. It is possible to let go of your anger before you go to sleep even if you haven’t reached an agreement and need to take a break from the issue.

Address your problems head on.

Many women like to address issues head on, but they don’t realize that many men need time and space. If you’re constantly addressing what you don’t like or what you need, he may feel like he can’t do anything right, so why even try– or he may feel like you’re nagging him. There are other subtle ways to have a conversation. Instead of telling him how you feel, try asking your husband a question and listening to how he feels about the issue at hand. {Tweet This}

Your kids should always come first.

30 day marriage challengePutting your kids first is a surefire way to have conflict in your marriage. It’s just a bad idea. What you invest into will grow, and if you invest into your kids but not into your relationship, then both will suffer. You will be doing your kids a favor when they see you putting each other first. Here are some other ways to protect your marriage.

And if you want a 30-day marriage challenge to strengthen your relationship, try this one.

What well-meaning but bad marriage advice have you gotten?

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