Love is not (always) a long, quiet river. Work on oneself and a little elbow grease are necessary for a relationship to work and to be lasting. Here are 6 secrets for a relationship that works.
At first, it may work like clockwork, but once the passion of the early days is gone, the small wheels will start to creak if you do not make sure that they continue to slide. And by “so”, understand in particular: compromise, communication and listening, as Monica Parikh, life coach and author on Mindbodygreen points out .
1- Accept the conflict
All couples have disagreements. Unless the reasons are really serious (infidelity, addictions, legal problems, violence), do not capitulate on the pretext that you sometimes argue . Successfully confronting each other and then reconciling is also how we make the relationship grow and evolve positively.
2- Be happy alone
Before trying to thrive in a relationship, learn to appreciate yourself. Only you. Being happy by yourself is still the best way to be happy as a couple. And it’s even the secret to meeting your soul mate more easily !
3- Listen to your needs
Need a nap? Sleep. Want to make yourself a little cinoche? Who therefore prevents you! You can obviously offer your lover to share this moment with you, but he too has other wants and needs. So, if you get a “no, thank you”, don’t take it badly and above all, don’t deprive yourself of your desires. You can just as easily do them alone or take the opportunity to see your friends and family. While he will do the same on his side. And when we meet again, everyone will be happy.
It is often said, it’s true, but did you know that most relationships die because of a lack of communication between the partners? So, we open the dialogue! It means asking the other person how he is, telling him the little things of his daily life, reminding him of the reasons why we love him … but also what does not suit us in our relationship. This is how to develop a relationship.
5- Listen to your inner voice
Is your relationship in crisis? You will tell your disappointments to those around you, normal. And they feel it is their duty to advise you on what you should do. You can listen to their comments, but remember that it is you and you alone who must make your decision and that your best adviser is your inner voice. Learn to listen to yourself and know how you feel in order to find what is best for yourself.
6- Be patient, tolerant … but realistic.
Like you, the other is not perfect. If you like it and you think it’s good, there are some of its faults with which you will have to learn to live , tolerance is one of the qualities that you acquire as a couple. It’s up to you to make the difference between small flaws (despite great qualities) and the reverse, because we have a scoop: changing people is almost mission impossible.