Do you know the way to a man’s heart? Many years ago I had a conversation with a co-worker of mine who has been happily married for 25 years. She said that three little things make a big difference in her husband’s mood when he walks through the door at the end of the day: the aroma of something good cooking, having the entryway or family room of her house neat and clean and greeting her husband very warmly. That may all seem a bit old school to you and me, but she knows what will win her husband’s heart and because she loves him she does those three simple things. What would win your husband over?
I was thinking about that question this week. So I decided to talk to some husbands and ask them what their wives do that they really love. I asked them, what is one thing your wife does that makes you melt? Here are 5 things they told me.
1. Notice what he does and compliment him
When men do things around the house there are two purposes: one is to fix the problem, the second is to impress you. When your husband fixes something, has he ever announced it or shown you? He’s looking for your approval. He wants to be your hero. If you want to win your husband over, one of the best ways is to see what he does and tell him how amazing he is or how grateful you are for what he did.
2. Initiate sex
This can be a touchy subject. There are plenty of women who are married to men with low sex drives who consistently initiate sex only to get shut down by their husbands. However, almost every man we talked to said how much they loved when their wives initiated sex or wished they would. It makes him feel connected to you and lets him know he is still desired.
3. Support and encourage their purpose
Something that is very important to men is that their lives have a purpose. That purpose can be tied to what they do for a career, but not always. Men need a mission. What is your husband passionate about? What is his mission to accomplish? Nothing lifts a man’s spirit or confidence more than the support of a loving woman. The way to a man’s heart is to support the purpose that his heart is passionate about.
4. Stand up for him
There is nothing more demoralizing for a man than when he’s the butt of someone’s joke and his wife joins in the laughter. Or even worse, she is the one making fun of him. Yes, there are times when we should be able to laugh at ourselves and not take ourselves too seriously. He may join in, however, deep down underneath that laughter and self-deprecation is a lot of self-doubt, fear, and possible hurt. Affirm him. Let him know either privately or publicly in the moment that he measures up in your eyes.
5. Brag about him
Men want to know that they have what it takes. They want to know they have the manhood, competence, and wisdom to be the husband, father, and provider you need and desire. Let your husband know you believe in him and would choose him over any other man out there to be yours and your children’s dad. The best way to do that is to proclaim it publicly to others when he is around. When you do it, pay attention to the look on his face. It will make him light up.
Tell us! What would win your husband’s heart?