“You don’t like someone because of their appearance, their clothes or their car. You love him because he sings a song that only your heart can understand. “ – LJ Smith
Let me tell you about Cathy, one of my friends. In her thirties, an active social life, she often goes to science fiction conventions, regularly organizes video game marathons at home, and meets many people who share the same interests as her – including men.
Cathy had been single for some time and hoped to find a partner who would complement her. And even if she has a lot in common with the boys present in her social circles, none of them really attracted her to the romantic level.
So it was a real surprise when Lionel came into her life and fell in love with him.
Very focused on sport, they met by chance, with mutual friends, and the feeling passed immediately.
Still, it was not her style at all – at least that’s what she thought.
Whenever Cathy talks about their meeting, she says the same thing: “He was different from all the other men I had met and I don’t think it had anything to do with our interests.” Lionel has this energy and this warmth that I LOVE ”.
How to find the right one?
Their worlds are very far apart, but that didn’t stop Cathy from falling madly in love with Lionel.
It is surprising to see how the couples who seem to be totally opposed at first sight turn out to be perfectly complementary.
And, most of the time, it can be quite complicated to determine if a man is the right one for you.
Taking into account his unique personality and quirks – as well as the whole mess of conflicting signals – it’s hard to sort it all out and see the signs that it’s MADE for you.
So how can you determine that it is the right…? Or, on the contrary, how do you know if you should keep looking?
Sign # 1: He supports you
I have noticed one thing among the many couples who have been together for years: it’s how much they support each other.
It’s always a good sign when a man constantly encourages his partner to invest in his interests and passions – no matter how odd they seem.
If you see that your man is still pushing you in a HEALTHY direction – especially if you don’t trust yourself – it’s a clear sign that he’s for you.
When looking for a partner, it is important to find someone who wants to see you GROW and evolve. A man who acts as a positive force in your life is worth keeping.
Sign # 2: He is part of your world
As Cathy learned, falling in love has little to do with similarities in personalities or interests.
Sure, having things in common helps break the ice, but in the long run, it won’t help your relationship.
The most important thing is when he wants to be part of your life at all costs.
Cathy always tells this anecdote of their beginnings: “Lionel didn’t know anything about Star Wars, or science fiction movies in general, but he accompanied me to see Le Réveil de la Force with my geek friends … and we even wore matching Jedi costumes! I didn’t ask Lionel to do that, but he came up with the idea and I liked him for that… ”.
If he likes you, he will be interested in what you do. He will spend time on it because they know that’s what makes you YOU. And that’s exactly what he wants to be part of – your life.
Sign # 3: You share a special link
Do you see how some couples always seem to know what the other is thinking without saying a word?
It’s great – and a little strange – to see them connected at this point, to a level that no one can reach.
It is neither an extrasensory perception nor another supernatural phenomenon – some people simply have this kind of empathy and have some kind of radar.
Your man doesn’t have to be a medium or a sixth sense, and you don’t have to expect that from him.
But if he’s sensitive enough to at least ask yourself if you’re okay, then it’s a sign that you have a partner who cares about you – and that you’re CONNECTED with.
He’s the kind of man who can sense and respond to something in your world.
When it picks up your signals, it won’t just ask you if you’re okay. He will also want to help you out of your troubles, and will do everything he can to keep you well again.
And the fact that he cares about how you feel or think shows the kind of man he is.
Sign # 4: He is doing EFFORTS
If a man is important to you, he will always work “overtime” to make sure you are happy.
A man likes when his partner feels he is taking care of her, and he likes when she feels protected; therefore, everything he does will go in this direction.
If he doesn’t plan anything with you and doesn’t create great, shared experiences, he will try to help you with something that bothers you, like fixing your smartphone or going for a run that you hate.
A worthy man will do anything to clear your mind and make your life easier.
You might also notice that a man will do things with you regularly.
He will take you outside to drink your morning coffee, accompany you to walk your dog every Saturday, or plan a monthly expedition to his favorite campsite.
If he does, write it down, because a man changes his schedule as easily as very rarely.
Only a man in a “single” mode will insist on keeping his appointments as they are.
A LOVE man, on the other hand, will suddenly have every reason in the world to make his schedule more flexible than a contortionist.
He wants to create a life shared with you. So it’s not just what he does that matters, but the amount of time he gives up and the troubles he goes through in the name of your happiness. It is one of the most beautiful gifts he can offer you.
Sign # 5: It makes everything AWESOME
Even the most boring everyday things get awesome when you’re with him.
You may need to go buy pasta or pick up a package in the mail – but you wouldn’t miss it for the world if he offered to come with you.
You are so attracted to each other that when you are together everything else seems bland.
He wants to know absolutely everything you’ve done today, and it’s the same for you.
That’s what it means to be soul mates – it turns that which is pointless into something magical, just by its presence.
And when you are on a dark day, you want it WHEN SAME near you, because you know there is a positive presence in your life.
He is there to listen to you grumble about all the problems you have with a colleague or other difficulties you face.
Whatever it is, he listens to you and does not try to rush to find a solution to your problems.
He will sit down, listen to you calmly, and only speak once you are done.
He will only give you his opinion if you ask him, and will always make you feel that he is listening to you.
All of this adds to the unmistakable fact that you found The One.
It is RARE to find this kind of connection with a man, so you have to give importance to the good signals that he sends you.
Most importantly, you need to make sure that the spark continues to shine.
I saw a lot of couples who were perfect but they got away for one reason or another.
Maybe he’s not as affectionate as he used to be, maybe the passion is gone, or he’s just doing it all mechanically. And even worse, it even looks like it is moving away.
If you have this terrible fear in your stomach, and you can no longer ignore it any longer, then it is time to know the REAL reasons why men are moving away.