Are you in your 40s or 50s and are you trying to find the right man for you?
Many mature women find it difficult to date and find that dating sites, among others, are not working as well as they would have hoped.
No matter how old you are, you deserve to be happy and have a great man by your side.
Problem # 1: Age-related problems
It is said that once you are in your twenties, age should not be taken into account when looking for a partner (as long as he is of age, of course!). But unfortunately, age remains an obstacle for appointments when you are in your forties or more.
The first problem is that people often lie about their age on dating sites in order to appear more attractive, which means that you can never really know the real age of a person.
In addition, mature women often discover that on dating sites, men who are about their age seem only interested in younger women.
Studies have shown that as people age, men tend to be more attracted to younger women. But that does not mean that ALL mature men are interested in younger women, or that young men are not interested in older women.
Presumably, a 50-year-old childless man would still like to have children, and it would be possible for him if he found a partner who was still of childbearing age. However, this case is not so common.
Some women are also worried about looking for a younger man, especially if they have children. They are afraid of the resulting social stigma, of falling in the esteem of their family or friends.
But in reality, it’s really not age that counts. Your age does not necessarily correspond to your state of mind, your interests, your level of activity, and physical fitness. People move forward in life at a different pace.
At this point in your life, it is more important to find a partner who is compatible with you in areas such as personality, interests, goals, and lifestyle, rather than a partner of the same age. that you. There are certainly younger, older, or the same age men who would fit you perfectly.
Stay open-minded and broaden your age criteria when looking for a potential partner, especially if you are looking on dating sites. You still wouldn’t want to sell yourself lower!
And don’t think you have to lie about your age. A decent man will judge you on all the qualities you have to offer, not on your age.
Problem # 2: Finding the right kind of men is an ordeal
Meeting men is an ordeal for many women, even when they use dating sites or go to single events.
There are two types of mature men in the online dating world.
First of all, there are those who seek only an “unconditional” love or agreement, who use phrases such as “I have just come out of a long term relationship and have suffered in the past, so I’m not looking for anything serious at the moment, just a woman to hang out with. ”
And then there are those who are looking for a real relationship. These men are fed up with empty meetings and meetings. They only want to settle with someone they can count on and with whom they can share their lives. And believe me, there are men like that.
But unfortunately, some women only find men who are just looking for a good time. Or after several unsuccessful meetings, they remain disappointed that they have not lived up to their online profiles.
So how do you meet men if it’s not on a dating site?
It is not always easy, but one of the best ways to meet men is through your common interests because in this way you already have a lot in common. But to meet in this way, you have to take part in these interests and commit yourself to them. For example, you can sign up for a weekly class, play sports in a club, or volunteer with an association.
You are unlikely to meet the new love of your life if you only go there once. Persevere, it could end up happening in a year. People often do things at a regular rate. For example, they go to the gym at a certain time of the day or participate in a certain class each week. Become a regular member of the activities that make you happy.
It is virtually impossible to meet people at a regular rate if you just continue to live your life the way you want. For example, do you have a dog? Try going for a walk regularly in the park around the corner. You never know who you might come across!
If you are a believer, your place of worship can be a good way to meet a man who shares the same values as you. Many people meet through mutual friends, so the more friends you have, the more you see them, and the more likely you are to meet someone.
And if you still decide to try online dating, be sure to regularly visit the dating site (s) you have chosen. If you don’t check your profile often and don’t reply to messages, it won’t work.
Problem # 3: Feeling socially isolated
A common problem for many mature women is the criticism they face after a divorce or the end of a relationship. It also means seeing all their single friends leave.
For example, you discover that you are invited to far fewer social events because your friends and partners like to invite their “couples of friends” and that you no longer match the description.
And then there is the other aspect: we invite you, but it always ends in a disturbing way. For example, you are at a table where there are only couples, and someone brings up the subject of your celibacy. You then find yourself in front of a room full of people looking at you with a compassionate air and offering to introduce someone. It would be the perfect time to go and hide at the bottom of a cave.
If you are in a situation where all your single friends suddenly become a couple and abandon you for cuddly nights on the sofa, or when you have just divorced and suddenly you receive much less dinner invitations from you from your friends, it hurts and can make you feel really lonely.
To try to get out of there, you can try to organize a “weekend with girlfriends”, so that you can go out with your friends and no longer feel like the fifth wheel of the carriage. This could give you more chances to talk to your friends about your love life and receive advice since their partners will not be there.
In addition, men are more likely to approach a group where there are only women, so if you go out somewhere, your chances of meeting someone increase.
Surround yourself with positive people and people who have always been there for you. If you feel alone, join a new club or class. Learning new things is a good way to feel fresh and vibrant again, and it keeps you occupied and provides you with social opportunities.
Make friends first, and you might meet a man on the road. And always accept the social proposals that we offer you! You could have fun and make great friends.
It is much more difficult to find a man when you really feel alone and socially isolated. When you feel positive about your social life outside of intimate relationships, it becomes much more natural for you to attract a man.
Problem # 4: Feeling too old
Mature women may feel that dating someone is something that only young and beautiful people do.
They may have overlooked things like appearance and fitness a bit over the years because they put their family and work first. They, therefore, feel that they can never compete with other women.
Too often, women see wrinkles, graying hair, and other signs of aging as evidence that they will never attract a man. And not only does it become a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it also makes them abandon the idea of even trying to work on their appearance.
You want to show off. I repeat, highlight YOU. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone. No one is perfect, and everyone is looking for something different in a partner.
So yes, maybe you don’t look like the one you were at 20 years old. But you’re no longer trying to attract a 20-year-old man! You don’t expect a potential partner to be in perfect physical shape and not have a single gray hair, do you? So why would you expect this from yourself? You may have aged, but so have the men.
Obviously, on dating sites you want to present a profile that shows you in the best light. But you also want to be clear about who you are and what you are looking for. So give up on the idea of using a younger, thinner photo of yourself for your profile.
You don’t want the men you meet in real life to instantly think “This is not what his profile picture was showing”, just as you don’t want to be fooled either.
If you have suffered from painful ruptures, you may have lost a lot of self-esteem. You may even have had the horrible experience of a partner who made you believe that you are worthless.
If so, tell yourself this out loud right now:
“I am a woman of value”. “I am a woman who has a lot to offer.” “I am a woman who naturally attracts men”. “I am a woman with whom men want to be. “
These truths MAY be YOUR truths if you allow them to. Relying on others to maintain a positive self-image and self-confidence is not healthy. It must come from you.
So start by leaving yourself alone and get rid of all those negative ideas that make you believe that you have to be “perfect” for someone to love you. This is not the case !! For someone, you ARE perfect.
And don’t feel like you have to go to the bars and night clubs you went to when you were 20 to meet someone. There are much better ways to meet a good man, just open your eyes to discover all the opportunities available to you.
Problem # 5: The feeling of shame, failure, and guilt
Unfortunately, one of the things that keeps a lot of mature women from allowing themselves a chance to find love is the sense of shame and failure they feel because they are single.
This may be the case for a woman who has never met someone who matched her and who has never married, or for a woman who has divorced. If they have always been single, women may feel unattractive, unloved and think that they will never be “good enough” to attract a man.
If they are divorced, they may feel ashamed and feel that they are unable to “keep a man” or maintain a relationship. Mothers, in particular, may feel guilty for wanting to find a new partner, as if they put themselves before the needs of their children.
But remember, your kids want you to be happy, even if they may have a hard time dating you at first. And as long as you continue to meet their needs, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to meet someone.
It’s time to let go of these self-defeating thoughts and replace them with a positive view of yourself. Maybe things have not worked in your past relationships or in your marriage. And sometimes relationships just don’t go the way you want them to. It’s life!
But don’t let guilt, shame, or fear of failure hold you back. Be fair with yourself. You deserve to be loved and you won’t get anywhere if you don’t try. As they say, you have to participate to win!
The most important advice I can give you is to start enjoying life, enjoying all the good things you have and living the way you want.
If you can do this, you will find that you will automatically start to attract good things (and men).
So don’t wait any longer …