Empathy and the desire to know, respect and understand the other are the fundamental ingredients of good communication within the couple.
If they are not said, many things can end up becoming a serious problem, even if they weren’t at the beginning. Therefore, it is better to avoid making communication errors and opt for dialogue and understanding.
Communication relationships and mistake
An interpersonal relationship is not easy to maintain in a harmonious and healthy way. On the contrary, it requires a lot of continuous and constant effort.
Each member of the couple has lived different experiences throughout their lives. This is why everyone thinks, feels, and reacts in a different way. Each has their own needs and expectations which do not necessarily coincide with those of the other. And it’s normal.
The problem is, we often make serious communication errors. This way the only thing we get is a lack of respect, understanding, and discovery which ends up deteriorating the relationship.
Moreover, communication errors often become a habit, a routine. So, we get caught in a difficult situation sometimes. For all these reasons, today we want to talk to you about the five most common communication errors in a couple. In order to be able to avoid them.
5 most common communication errors
First mistake: believing that the more we communicate, the better
Quantity does not mean quality. Indeed, just talking a lot doesn’t mean that there is a special connection. For example, we can talk for long hours about irrelevant or trivial matters, and this does not strengthen communication between the couple.
On the other hand, if we haven’t established good principles of communication before, we can even exchange for hours on end on the wrong basis without necessarily communicating. This sometimes generates more disagreements and conflicts.
Therefore, for there to be good communication, it is not necessary to talk a lot. But rather to always exchange with a basis of empathy and understanding. You have to know how to put yourself in the other’s shoes.
Second mistake: insisting on things that have no solution
Often times, there is a topic or issue in the relationship that involves a limit for one of the two. Therefore, whoever set this limit will not give in. Indeed, if we insist too much, our partner may end up believing that we are trying to dominate and change him, that we do not respect him.
We must, therefore, respect our partner’s limits in the same way we must establish and enforce our own. So, talking emphatically about a subject that represents a limit for the other will only lead to repetitive and toxic conversations that will not be resolved. Also, the relationship will take charge of negative energy.
Third error: premonition
This communication error takes place especially among couples who have been together for a long time. Indeed, very often we think that we know the other like ourselves. We, therefore, consider being able to guess what he is thinking and how he is feeling.
However, this type of communication leads to a lot of misunderstanding. In addition, because we think we know each other perfectly, we miss the opportunity to establish true communication and to better discover ourselves.
On the other hand, by believing that we can guess our partner’s desires and thoughts, we can make him feel like we are dominating and controlling him.
Fourth mistake: expecting your partner to read our minds
Just like you can’t control how your partner feels or thinks, neither can you expect them to be able to read your mind.
The members of a couple are two different beings, with their own views, experiences, wishes, and expectations. Therefore, it is one of the most serious communication mistakes to assume that the other can know what we are thinking and how we are feeling. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Rather, we should communicate effectively and express to our partner how and why we feel this way. Only then will we lay the foundation for healthy communication.
Fifth mistake: ignoring the other’s point of view
Empathy corresponds to “the ability to identify with others, to experience what he feels”, as defined in the dictionary of the Académie Française. In other words, it is the ability to put yourself in the other’s shoes, to understand their point of view (even if we do not share it), and finally to understand their feelings.
Logically, empathy is one of the virtues of a healthy relationship. On the one hand, it allows us to know our partner more deeply. On the other hand, this quality gives us the possibility of opening more efficient channels of communication and avoiding misunderstandings.
However, many couples come to find it unimportant to try to understand each other. This is precisely what we have just explained in the paragraph on the error of premonition. Indeed, we sometimes think that we know each other too well and that it is therefore not necessary to communicate.
However, in this way, we lose a golden opportunity to let our partner know that we understand their feelings and that we care about them.
Conclusion on communication errors within the couple
As you can see, most communication errors are based on guesses about each other. In this way, we do not respect our partner as an independent person with their own personality.
Therefore, we don’t let him express his feelings because we just think we know them in advance.
On the contrary, a couple relationship in which there is effective and healthy communication should always be based on empathy and the desire to really understand and know the other.