A couple of relationships is nurtured. And if it is necessary to adopt positive attitudes to make harmony last within your couple, there are also toxic behaviors to avoid.
Everyone knows that it is impossible within a couple to live only pleasant and happy moments. Indeed, living together is not always an easy thing. It is important to balance everything we have on our hearts and it is true that a good argument can sometimes do good. But know that there are still behaviors to avoid carefully to maintain the (good) health of your couple. Here they are.
Expect it to read in you like in a book
“Don’t bother telling him what to do, he’s going to guess that’s what I want.” Rather practical to think that your other half knows you by heart and guesses the least of your thoughts. Because if that were the case, he would never commit an odd deal and would anticipate all your desires. Seen from this angle, it seems highly unrealistic. However, you may have this attitude when you get mad at him because he did not have the reflex to warn you of an important thing, or even if he hurt you with a sentence who wanted to be harmless, but whom you found hurtful.
Unless he committed this act for the sole purpose of harming you, he probably did so out of clumsiness. So explain to him why you didn’t like it and make sure he remembers it so it doesn’t happen again. “A healthy relationship should be based on sharing feelings. You shouldn’t expect your partner to guess what you are feeling,” says psychotherapist Jodee Virgo, of Verily Magazine. In other words, the key to the proper functioning of a couple is to communicate. We can never say it enough!
Avoid talking about the annoying things
As we said, communicating is the secret of a healthy and lasting, and therefore happy, romantic relationship. This advice also applies (and above all) for unpleasant things. It is not only a question of reproaching him for his faults or his attitude but also to tackle delicate subjects. Whether it is because you cannot feel her new friend because you find that your mother-in-law squats the sofa too often or to talk about problems that you encounter when you are in bed, the instruction is the same: speak! Because know that making the ostrich will not make the problem go away as if by magic. In addition, silence can seriously harm your relationship. “Healthy couples take the time to discuss sensitive issues. It is not always easy, but it is necessary,” said Dr. Virgo.
See everything in black
Once you have analyzed your arguments and laid things down with your other half, you can take stock. But is it really worth focusing on your couple’s flaws after the storm has passed? The American John Gottman, author of the book “7 principles that make your marriage work” developed the 1/5 ratio method. In summary, this consists of seeing five times more positive aspects than negative points in your relationship and focusing on them. According to the expert, this would greatly contribute to the harmony of the union. Adapting the opposite attitude (i.e. focusing only on the negative) could therefore greatly affect the happiness of your couple … and we are willing to believe that.