I never get out of it unscathed when I say that men are not complicated.
Women don’t believe me. They have received too many texts which have perplexed them, have too often been victims of communication black holes. If men were simple, wouldn’t they say what they think to end it all?
But if I am in a room full of men and I say “We men are not complicated”, they would all agree. Men don’t see themselves as complicated. We like to think that we are rather direct.
So, who is right? Are men simple or mysterious?
I have found that male behavior is disconcerting for women – but not for other men. Everything becomes obvious once you have learned the masculine code.
One of my friends, who is also a seduction coach, spends a lot of time reading books written by men for men, and which deal with what it is to be a man. She tells me that it opened her eyes. She didn’t think the men were so worried.
Now she understands that men don’t really live in the same world as her. What they see and what she sees can be very different. She cannot understand their behavior by putting herself in their place, because it has nothing to do with it.
It works both ways. Sometimes I advise men to read a sentimental novel, to give them a glimpse of the fantasies of women. They resist until the end. They are sure they will hate it.
But that makes them think a lot. They sometimes never thought about why romance and passion are important. They are beginning to understand that it is less a question of whether they are performing than how it feels.
Much attention has been paid to the masculine code in recent decades. Authors like Sam Keen and Robert Bly have raised awareness of the harmful and heroic sides of masculinity. Most men now know that becoming a man is as much a matter of culture as it is of biology.
But what are the unspoken rules of masculinity? And how do they affect you?
Here is a quick introduction.
Rule # 1: Think logically.
True or false?
Men are rational; women are emotional.
On a biological level, we always wonder about this question. But culture plays a major role when it comes to teaching boys and girls what is right. Parents tend to use more words related to feelings when communicating with their daughters while they disapprove of the manifestation of emotions in their sons.
When a man reaches adulthood, he learned that men make decisions with their heads, not with their hearts.
Incorporate this rule and you will understand why men can sometimes seem to lack an “emotional side.” A man, as a man, takes pride in being rational and reasonable. Emotions distract him from real work: solving problems.
Rule # 2: Don’t drop anyone.
Men are harder on themselves than on anyone else. They don’t want to fail. The last thing they want to do is hurt someone or screw something up.
Incorporate this rule and you will understand why he sometimes takes criticism you criticize him so badly. While you know that you are only putting forward a point that would improve your relationship, he hears that he disappointed you.
Men take failure very seriously. A man will end a relationship if he thinks he can’t be who you want him to be. He would rather leave than disappoint you.
Rule # 3: Be the best.
Go to any playground and you will see boys fighting to be the best. One boy is admired by being the first to do something crazy, while another is applauded for delivering the most bitter remark or having the coolest tech toys.
There are many ways to be the best. But some boys have trouble excelling in one area. Having a lower status is like social death. A man would do anything to get back into the game – even if it goes against his values.
Incorporate this rule and you will understand why so many men fight to be in the company of young and attractive women. His appearance is less important than the status it gives him when other men see him with a beautiful woman on his arm.
From a feminine point of view, these 3 rules can seem absurd or even bad. But it’s worth remembering that he couldn’t choose. The masculine code applies to all boys from birth.
If a man is lucky, he will become aware of the unspoken code he feels obliged to follow. It gives him a choice. This allows him to be more flexible. It will take the best parts of this “code” and abandon the others.
If he’s even luckier, he’ll meet a woman like you – who is concerned enough to try to see his world through his eyes … while inviting him to a deeper emotional connection.
This emotional connection, I called it the “Principle of respect”. It will allow you to capture all the attention of a man, will make you irresistible to him, and will lead him to love you for who you really are.
Please note: once you start this, you cannot go back. He will come to you with the energy and enthusiasm he had during your FIRST APPOINTMENT!
To your success,