A good friend of mine met with me a couple of weeks ago. “My husband told me that our sex life is over,” she said. He matter-of-factly explained that he just wasn’t attracted to her. He compared it to her dislike of eggs. “You know how you don’t like eggs? You can’t help it, you just don’t like them and you can’t make yourself like them.”
And that was it. He told her not to take it personally, that there was no one her age he was attracted to. So there she was 15 years into a marriage, two children, and a man who on most accounts was a good husband and dad, but he’d unilaterally decided to end their sex life. At that moment, she had some major marriage struggles. Here are 3 prayers to handle that type of heartache, and others.
1. Pray for wisdom.
Dear God, I need the wisdom to know how to handle this situation. On my own, I can’t figure it out. She asked God to help her see the situation clearly, to find hope. Yes, she felt hurt; yes she was angry; but that prayer for wisdom led her to a decision to pursue wisdom, counsel, and God’s timing.
2. Pray for love.
Another friend of mine can get really irritated at her husband while having marriage struggles, so irritated that it pretty much blots out any feelings of love she has for him. So she prays, God, please restore the love I felt for my husband, and if I can’t feel it, please let me love him because he is your creation, and loving others is the right thing to do. So that prayer has helped her show her husband love and kindness, and in the process, it has helped her see him with more loving eyes.
When a marriage is struggling it is easy to take the immaturity route. It’s about two people, not two people who only think about, me, me, me. God, I want to lash out, I want to hurt my husband like he’s hurt me. But I know that is not the right choice. Please give me maturity to handle myself well, even if he is acting like a child. Help me to be a good example to my own children.
Tell us! How do you pray for your marriage?