Long-term romances require personal investment
It is not easy to maintain a romantic relationship. Marriage is difficult too. And, it’s not for everyone.
It is not enough to be in love to be happy, or it would be known … To have a lasting, healthy and successful relationship, one must be ready to compromise. It is also necessary to love yourself, accept the faults of the other and learn to communicate in a frank but subtle way.
To be happy for two, you must first know yourself, know where you are going and have specific goals. A romantic relationship cannot work if each of the partners is not fulfilled in their own life and if one of the two depends (emotionally, financially, etc.) on the other.
Once you are in love and think you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you are halfway there. The rest? It is work, compromise, and communication.
Here are some tips for having a happy, healthy long-term relationship.
1. Forget your princess dream
Whatever fantasy you developed during your childhood, draw a line under it. You have to face the facts: a love story is not a fairy tale. There will be ups and downs, moments of joy as well as more difficult moments. And, no one is perfect: your loved one is not necessarily Prince Charming, but that does not mean that he does not deserve your love.
If you remain attached to this little girl’s dream, you will be so disappointed that you could start to hate men and have an apprehension of relationships.
Don’t let your ego dictate your behavior. He/she did something wrong and you blame him/her? Take the time to think about it and ask yourself if it is really serious and if it is worth staying resentful.
Let the little things flow and don’t get attached to every detail or every single word. In moments of anger, we sometimes do things without thinking and we can be hurtful without wanting to.
Again: no one is perfect. Maybe tomorrow you will make the mistake and need his forgiveness.
Once you have forgiven, forget! Stop talking about this event and move on. You will never move forward if you constantly remind him of his mistakes and the kindness you showed when you forgave him.
After all, is forgiving without forgetting really forgiven?
4. Be its fulcrum
One of the best things about a relationship is that you have someone who is supportive and always there for you. He (she) therefore needs to feel your presence at his side and to know that you will defend him (her) whatever he (she) says or does (within reason, of course).
5. Grow up
If you have the same aspirations today as ten years ago, you are the only one at fault for that. You have to push yourself to change: there is no reason why your behavior should be the same as what you had years ago.
Face it: Maintaining a relationship does not mean giving up all your dreams or goals. You must continue to develop personally to be able to have a stable and rich union.
Even if you have trouble changing, the person you are with is evolving. Do not be jealous and do not prevent it from moving forward. On the contrary, be happy for him, accept his evolution and take seed!
7. Find your faith
If you are an atheist or a believer in small doses, explore this new world together. You will discover that there is a certain comfort in believing in something greater. Was it not fate that put you on its way?
8. Travel together
It is said that we do not know a person until we have left with him on a trip. Being in an unknown or exotic place forces you to strengthen your ties: you have to lean on each other and you adapt to new situations.
9. Travel alone
Do you want to go to Spain and him to Germany? No problem, each take your route and share your respective experiences, once you return home. This will help you prove to him that you can be independent and that you can do it without him.
10. Have your own hobbies
When you separate a little and do something you like on your own, you’re going to be happier. In addition, it gives you new topics for conversation.
Respect each other’s passions even if your partner likes to make souvenir albums of everything and anything. Be forgiving!
11. Maintain your circle of friends
Meeting new people is one of the great joys of life. These new meetings enrich you spiritually and make you appreciate your partner more.
Do not criticize each other’s friends, respect everyone’s choice. You don’t have to spend all your evenings with madam-know-it-all, but be courteous when she is present.
12. Don’t count the points
Who did the dishes most often? Who took out the trash? You’re no longer a child, so you don’t always have to keep an eye on what the other is doing: in the long run, it’s tiring!
13. Play sports
Stay fit for your partner. In addition to maintaining your health, sport allows you to release all tensions and clear your ideas. It’s a great way to decompress.
Also, pay attention to your outfit and appearance. Being married or in a couple does not give you the right to wear, day after day, old faded jogging.
14. Question yourself
Be honest with yourself. What are your qualities? Your faults? What can you change at home? Every day, you need to think about the idea of becoming a better version of yourself.
15. Admit when you are wrong
It is difficult to do but essential. Do not try to argue for anything, just admit your fault (sometimes you will not be wrong but it will be necessary to put an end to an unnecessary argument). In any case, it is better to offer solutions rather than to criticize.
16. Celebrate your accomplishments
Whether they’re big or small, party. Show him that you are proud of him and never miss an opportunity to celebrate the accomplishment of the other.
Do not hesitate to exchange compliments. This boosts morale and gives the other person more self-confidence.
17. Surprise him (her)
Little things can have a big impact on your relationship. For example, you can organize a football evening with his friends and slip away to let them yell at the TV freely.
18. Be courteous
Hold the door for him sometimes. Offer a romantic evening. Avoid scratching your nose in front of him or her (you hardly dare say it) farting. Stay an elegant woman and a gentleman, whatever the circumstances.
Saying “thank you”, “please” is not a sign of weakness but of a good education. So be polite and helpful. Carrying a tote bag in its place from time to time will not kill you!
And above all: learn to be quiet. Do you know these questions like “do I look fat in these jeans”? Avoid answering it out of courtesy or choose your words wisely!
19. The bathroom is a private space
If you think brushing your teeth while he or she is in the bathroom is a sign of privacy, no! Take our word for it, there is nothing better for killing the romance of a relationship.
You also don’t need to attend to each other’s hygiene routine. Did he brush his teeth well? Did she shave? Sometimes curiosity is really misplaced!
20. Talk about intimacy
This is not a taboo subject (and it absolutely should not be). talk about what you like and don’t like. Exchange your honest opinions and find out how to make your intimate life passionate and enjoyable.
21. It’s okay to have secrets
Being in a relationship does not mean that you have to share everything. It is good to keep certain things to yourself, as long as it does not jeopardize your union.
22. Don’t be lazy
Pick up your dirty laundry, throw away your used handkerchiefs, raise the toilet seat, etc … Do not wait for the other to do so or to be forced to pass behind you. You are partners in this relationship, which means that even what you do not like to do, you must strive to do it.
Learn how to use the washing machine or change a light bulb; in short, be independent!
You are two equal parts of this couple. It doesn’t matter who earns more, who works more, who washes the dishes more often. Doing it together is much more fun!
23. Don’t idealize your old relationships
No, your ex was not that great and no, your relationship was not ideal otherwise you would still be together. Talking about old relationships is not a good idea in itself, so if you also want to make them perfect in the eyes of your partner, it will only hurt them.
In this way, you are tacitly trying to criticize the other by comparing two situations that should not be put in competition. Either you are happy together or you are not.
24. Laugh at everything
Everything should be laughed at. Don’t take yourself too seriously, enjoy life as it is. You are lucky to have a partner by your side who accepts you as you are, so do not hesitate: tell jokes and turn even the most delicate situations into a joke.
25. Watch your spending
Even if we think we can live on love and freshwater, this is not possible. Make a budget and stick to it. This will save you from unnecessary worry and tension.
If you are the one who earns money in the couple, you are going to be more provident; if you are the one who is not working, you have to be more careful about spending and respect the cost of money.
Relationships can be difficult. There are going to be times when you are going to want to give up and throw in the towel. But remember, you love yourself and you are made for each other. And, that in itself, is already a miracle.
You are lucky to have a partner by your side who is ready to compromise and who accepts you as you are, so return the favor.
If you abandon your loved one will it really make your life better? What will happen to you in 6 months or a year?
Trust us if you follow these tips, you will create an environment of trust within your couple and your life will be much easier and pleasant.
What could be better than being happy together?