Did you know that neurologists have managed to isolate 3 different phases in the human brain, corresponding to three stages of love? These three phases – desire, attraction and attachment – succeed in this order and causing the release of chemical agents, the neurotransmitters. These neurochemical responses are deeply embedded in all human brains.
But how do these brain activities manifest themselves? Let us compare the first phase (“desire”) with the last (“attachment”).
Brain activity in the first phase (desire) is completely different from what happens in the other two phases. Do you experience intense desire when you meet someone you love ? Certainly. Do your hands get sweaty or does your heart start to beat faster? Again, this is an extremely common feeling.
In fact, this “desire” that we feel is created by one of the chemicals released by the brain: dopamine . Sweating hands / a beating heart are the result of the release of two other chemicals: adrenaline and norepinephrine . These three brain chemicals then travel through our body and generate the sensations mentioned above.
But the phase of “desire” contrasts with the phase of “attachment”, when two people have been in love for some time. Attachment is a wonderful and wonderful thing – far more pleasant than the desire phase in a thousand ways. During the phase of attachment, brain, rather than releasing a massive flow of “pleasure hormones” release of oxytocin and vasopressin – hormones “love and well-being” – the brain chemicals that create a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
And why are these brain stories important? It all depends on your point of view, maybe it’s not very important to some – but maybe it should be.
The brain system provides us with scientific clues as to how you and your partner are feeling. Love and relationships, we all know by now, can be real mysteries.
And recent research allows us to understand – at least from a biological point of view – when we are in love and when this love is reciprocal . What to do with this knowledge remains the choice of each – it can become a tool or be completely ignored. There is no right or wrong way to interpret love; we then offer you a simple guide.
Here are 10 signs that someone truly loves their partner:
1. He feels extreme euphoria
During the beginnings of a romantic relationship, we constantly think about the object of our love. It is common at this time to be obsessed with the future and to devote all your free time to love.
And these feelings are due to the activity of the “primitive nervous system”; responsible for feelings of euphoria, attraction and recognition. This system “helps us create couple ties” within the area of survival present in our brain .
“We are meant to experience the magic of love and be drawn to each other,” says neurologist Lucy Brown.
2. The identity of one fascinates the other
Everything related to the person seems new and interesting to us, and its subtle specificities are welcomed by our senses and dear ones. The “desire phase” is often accompanied by a massive influx of energy and we experience a terrible emotional thirst for the other.
Most of the pleasant feelings we experience during this phase result from an influx of dopamine into various parts of our brain.
3. Links and commitment are solidified
Feelings of love or affection are essential for the brain to produce any underlying desire to bond with others. Human beings, as is often said, are social creatures – and our natural desire for intimate relationships is just one of many expressions.
True love is intimately linked to our social tendencies. The love we feel for our partner allows a banal relationship to turn into an intimate relationship and annihilates our selfish desires or related to our personal interests.
4. It shows an “urgent need to take care” of the other
Human beings hold within them a flawless empathy towards those they love. These intense feelings of affection, devotion and tenderness towards our loved ones are clearly expressed through our urgent need to take care of the other. These feelings result from the brain’s mechanisms of survival and protection.
Although we all have different levels of awareness and empathy, humans – almost without exception – somehow express the love and interest they feel for their partner .
5. Adversity strengthens the couple relationship
It has been shown that, in the case of individuals willing to initiate and maintain a romantic relationship, situations of stress intensify romantic attraction. When two people stay close to each other whatever the circumstances, it is a clear sign of the solidity of the bonds which unite the couple and of their commitment to each other.
Scientists attribute this behavior to the activity taking place within the midbrain; as has been noted that delaying the timing of the “reward” results in an increase in the amount of chemicals released, depending on the event.
6. A change in everyone’s priorities is happening, in a good way
It is common for people in love to review the order of their priorities . Although we often associate a change in the order of our priorities with something positive, it may also be something less admirable. It is therefore important to take into account the way in which a person reorganizes their lifestyle. Is it a sincere desire that is behind these changes or is it a way to hide your true identity?
Neurologists believe that people with different “brain chemistries” are more likely to reorganize their lifestyle. For example, an “alpha” personality will be more likely to improve if they are in love with a relaxed or “rewarding” personality.
7. He pushes his partner to improve
No one likes to watch someone they love living without taking advantage of their full potential. Of course, we are talking about two people here who share a mutual love. There are many chances that if your partner gently pushes you to be your best, it motivates him more.
When your partner tries to motivate you, it is a sign that all of the brain areas related to the reward are still active. And slightly ironically, asking your partner how he feels after his frustration (linked to the little progress you make) has subsided is a good idea!
8. He is comfortable in the presence of his partner
In the beginnings of a relationship, it is common for couples to go out a lot. But the more the relationship progresses, the more attractive it becomes to stay at home and take advantage of the other.
The brain is thirsty for new things but also knows how to be satisfied with routines. If you enjoy each other’s company, no matter where you are or what you do, it’s a good sign.
9. The “weak points” are not looked at as such
In the excellent Will Hunting , the great Robin Williams plays a psychologist, haunted by the death of his wife. In one of the scenes, Williams gives love advice to the character played by Matt Damon:
“My wife, she farted when she was nervous. She had all kinds of wonderful little fads. You know, she farted while sleeping. Once, she farted so hard that the dog woke up … I didn’t have the heart to tell the truth … She’s been dead for two years and that’s the bullshit I remember. It’s great you know. These little things like that, these kind of little faults that I’m the only one to know: what made her my wife … That’s what’s nice. “
10. He is completely devoted to the other
There is no question of science here. Religious devotion cannot be rationalized with words but only with feelings. And it is logical that the same goes for love devotion.
In the end, although the brain offers clues to what love is from a biological point of view, it is not the only explanatory factor. Love is sharing only one soul – something that science may never be able to shed light on because there is no “explanation”.
Devotion is complete love and it is something that can only be felt – not explained.